Flailing

It's feels like failing, but kind of like being flayed too. Every time I have to write a paper, it's like I'm in an unknown room flailing around looking for the light switch, but I'm failing so bad I can't even find a wall, much less a light switch, but hey, maybe it's going to be a cord dangling from the ceiling this time. Flail flail flail. I might as well lay down and take a nap. As soon a I find the damn switch and turn on the light they're just going to put me in another room that I don't know my way around and leave me to find the switch. Flailing around, waving my hands like I'm trying to say something. I try to have a system. I walk straight forward first, because eventually I've got to hit a wall, and even if there's no switch on the wall, there's probably an outlet, with a cord leading to the light, and somewhere on there, the switch. but then I wonder if I'm really walking straight, or if I'm like a lost person in the forest who takes a longer step with their right leg than their left and ends up walking in circles. I get bored and run and leap and it's fun and I get distracted from the task at hand, but after a while I'm tired, and it's not fun anymore and I just want to be done, and I don't want to flail anymore.

Random, Bold and Early

10:30 AM on a Saturday morning

Acch, I overslept again. My body aches from working out too much yesterday. Even my teeth hurt. I must have been grinding my teeth. Again. Okay, got to settle down to business. If I can finishing reading the paper I started last night, then I'll go and get coffee and think about it while I'm walking. Mmm. so sleepy - I still have my sleepy breathing. but I'm reading, getting though it.

The phone rings, as it does in all my stories. Probably my sister. No - it's CC, the woman I met last week for coffee. We totally hit it off, but she's just looking for friends. We had made plans to go to Osento tonight, so I suppose that's why she's calling.

CC: "Are you awake?"
me: "I'm not sure - working on it. why? what's up?"
CC: "I have a little proposition for you"
me: "Am I being propositioned this early in the morning?"
CC: "Well, actually, first promise that no matter what comes out of my mouth next, you'll still hang out with me and we'll be friends."
me: "Sure, of course - what could you possibly ask that would offend me that much?"
CC: "Are you having casual sex with anyone right now?"
me: "You really are propositioning me, aren't you?!? But, no I'm not sleeping with anyone. Why else would I be on the Onion?"
CC: "Do you want to have casual sex?"
me: "I guess so, yeah. I think that's what I need to do before I'll be ready to be in a relationship."
CC: "you know I'm emotionally unavailable. I'm emotionally involved with two women, neither of which I'll sleep with. And you - I know what the poison of love does to someone, you're not emotionally available."
me: "true, quite true"
CC: "And it would be really nice to just touch someone. I'm not really a casual person. I definitely get attached to people, but that doesn't necessarily mean falling in love."

Anyways, I still have to read that damn article and write my paper and call RockGirl for some coffee, so the story is to be continued.